October Girl

Well, this is kind of confusing, it doesn't really pull the reader in, or at least me. I mean it's OK but you don't want to make the reader say, ...

[quote="JustDance=]"]♥L.O.V.E.♥ It's on the streets,>>>hmm, I would change it to something more like (Love... It's painted on the streets) Just seems to flow better, you know??? In people you meet

nice very nice you can sit in the big chairs now. I would normal pick things apart and say what I liked and didn't like bu there weren't that many. ...

Um, it's an uh, well really rushed outline, maybe you can edit it. I know it's aan outline but even an outline gives no writer a reason to be sloppy, ...

[quote="janey"]Dear you You're a part of me You're eating away at All the things that I am>>> I don't really understand this part I mean for the beginning. Try something ...

[quote="praisejoe"] The silver cord Has been loosed, And the golden pot Shattered. The soul of intensity Has given way to Feigned strenght, And the heart is dead.[/quote] (Try this) The ...

[quote="listeningforthemuse"]My most recent song, pretty self-explanatory. I know its kinda short. Hope you like! (please comment!) verse: I’ve tried to play your games And I’ve lied to myself eve

[quote="OnCeUpOnAtIm3Xo"]Um, so these are my first attempt at lyrics, hope you like them! :D ~~~~~~~ [slow strumming on acoustic guitar] my mind, my mind is so open yet it always ...

My goodness!!! This is truely something else! I'm completely blown away by this, it's incredible, you better send soemthing like this to a poetry contest!!!! :D Your the best! Ilove ...

Hello there, mnesomeye! My name is Max. This is actually OK for your first post on YWS. I found it very enjoyable and it was great, as the user above ...

OK, OK everyone jeez we all have our own opinions, some of us HATE the Twilight series, others LIKE the Twilight series and some LOVE the Twilight series, in my ...

This is very strong, hopefully you put this in a poetry or lyric contest or something. Hey, Max here and I think you have true talents that is very very ...

[quote="Princess"][b]Rumors[/b] Thy word has taken flight. Inky blackness has spread.>>> I happen to really like this line. Neither mouth nor eye open. Houses quaking with dread.>>>Uh, this sort of se

Dang, this is pretty good. Better than eanything I've ever written I'll tell you that much, you got spirit kid. Really. I don't say that to just anyone, you should ...

Titch, dearie if you want a good story you must not rush, unless it's like a very very very short story, and even then, it's not ok. Titch I think ...